Monday, September 25, 2006

in these times of guns...

Omakara and Company...both neither new nor lacking in reviews (favourable and unfavourable). But after six hours of shootings (very aesthetically conscious, stylistically earthy, etc etc), it was fitting to encounter other inventive ways of killing fictional characters, most favoured by Shakespeare [simply titled "Murder Methods"]
  • Othello apparently strangles Desdemona or smothers her with a pillow. (The stage directions say he "stifles" Desdemona.)
  • In Antony and Cleopatra, Cleopatra commits suicide via the bite of an asp.
  • In Richard III, Clarence is drowned in a barrel of wine.
  • In Macbeth, hired assassins inflict "twenty trenched gashes" upon Banquo's head.
  • In Cymbeline, Guiderius decapitates Clotan.
  • In Titus Andronicus, throats are slit and Aaron the Moor is buried up to his chest, then starved.
  • In Hamlet, Claudius murders his predecessor by pouring poison into his ear.
  • In King John, a monk poisons the monarch in the conventional, oral way. The latter murder method has been a favorite of assassins since ancient times. It is said that the custom of garnishing food with parsley originated in the time of the Caesars. Parsley was a secret sign from a friend in the kitchen that food was uncontaminated.


Anonymous said...

and then there's the 'almost dead poison' state to 'fully dead poison' state and knifing ones own gut out, in "Romeo and Juliet". Also, how to recite a poem/act in a play while dying gruesomely... in the same.

Anonymous said...

Here's an upgraded package of Murder Methods for 2006...
Severely Dramatic (therefore the least suspicious):
- Driving off the road
- Falling
- Poisoning
Highly Dramatic:
- Dying from Work (yikes!)
- Walking down the street
- Drowning
Elevated in Drama:
- Flu
- Hernia
Guarded in Drama(i.e., greater degree of suspicion):
- Accidental Firing of the Gun
- Electrocution
Low Drama(boring!):
- Being shot by law enforcement
- Terrorism
- Carbon monoxide in products

In short, Mr. O'Reilly, dying from an appendix inflammation is likely more dramatic than Al-Quaida killing you. (The Daily Show, 09/25 episode)

Anonymous said...

in other words, all of these fall under the sweet title of 'dying in one's sleep'...? as contrary to these gun-toting times?

ooooohhhhhhhh...the ol' times of yore....