Sunday, September 03, 2006

"How was your flight?"

In anticipation of being asked the inevitable question, that is so often thought to be mandatory to anyone who has recently journeyed via airplane, I thought it worthwhile preparing a record for how indeed my journey by fligh was. Here then is that account:
0:00 min: In the cabin. Bored passengers filing down the aisle looking for their seat, and the next best opportunity in the overhead baggage storage. The best, of course is always taken. The same can also be said of the seat next to one's own. All these happenings happening to Indian tabla music, piped to an apologetic volume; and to Africa women, with breasts hanging like ripe fruit off of a tree,with heavy baskets on their heads walking in slow deliberation towrds some documentary filmmaker's camera, trying to overcome the static onthe overhead TV screens. Could a moment be any more random?
0:07 min: Moving on...From Africa to the banks of the Yamuna and the Taj appearing dramatically...um, small on the TV screen. In the background, the shrill, nasal voice of the stewardess warning about safety and security procedures of the flight. Does anyone realise the morbidity of a mausoleum appearing alongside "...in case of an emergency..."?
0:09 min: This is out of control! The TV has now moved on to a pair of feet walking through a wheat field - gliding, almost " [Russell Crowe's]Gladiator-style". What are they trying to do here? Mr. Crowe can wish for that blissful afterlife, but I would prefer if such dreamings were differed until after I reach ___.
0:11 min: I realise that all the crew seem to love to speak into the microphone. We just heard went through the same [damn] announcements for the thrid time! How many more instructions can there possibly be for a single flight?
0:15 min: We still haven't moved. And the ___ sun, piercing through my window [yes, I have a window seat!] is hot. 110F, I believe. Like I said, announced three times already.
0:16 min: Hooray! We are moving!
0:18 min: After an on and off and on and off of the TV, merry crewmembers appear on the screen to give a pretelevised safety instructions (that makes it four times). They seem cheery, and helpful. Quite a contrast from the ones standing outside the screens.
0:22 min: Waiting for take off. Engines revving up. Fingers tighten around the armrests - well, only momentarily.
0:24 min: Waiting...
0:25 min: We're off!
0:30 min: My seat is inconvenient for a bird's eye view.All I can see is a shiny airplane wing. I put on my shades.
0:...losing the sense of time here: There is a single little puff of a cloud floating around in the sky. Cute. Wonder where it floated from?
Much to the dismay of my embedded reporter avataar, I either doze off for an indefinite period, or get bored. Either way, that was my flight as far as it was recorded.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Overdose of the exotic.

Harold Kumar said...

...that's the tourism industry for you...