O heavens, can you hear a good man groan and not relent and compassion him?

Franchise entertainment comes with certain obligations:
1. Thou shalt endure endless lines. If thou are further un-blessed, the heavens will pour down on thou in disgust, or mockery. But thou will still stand there, because nobody likes to feel like a sucker.
2. Thou shalt shut up and have fun, even if others are snoring around thou. Fairly loudly.
3. Thou shalt be headless. For the sequel will literally be all middle - but alas, not the guts - recalling the first, and anticipating the third.
4. Thou shalt have an adventurous spirit, with childlike curiosity to embark on the longest route to the next sequel.
5. O, and finally...Johnny Depp will no longer be the splendid surprise. Sigh...O, Johnny!

"Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest" is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned). It has some protracted action scenes, and a few moments of gruesome creepy-crawly CGI horror.