Gollum, yesterday, my neighbour's big, vicious dog snarled at my sweet little pup 'Chuha'. She freaked out and yelped. Why can't people keep their dogs under control? My poor pup was so scared... poor thing!
Gollum: My pet bacteria got attacked by a vicious, mean, nasty virus, Preciousss. Gollum is sad! My Bacteria has feelings... and it is human... but nasty men, dirty men does not want!! Sméagol hates nasty hobbitses! Sméagol wants to see them...dead!
Gollum, why are kids these days glued to the TV? What do you think of TV Programs?
Gollum: Patience! Patience, my love. We lead them to the Public Libraries "family life-style" section, the winding stairs... Up, up, up, up the stairs we go and then we come to... the tunnel... And when they go in, there's no coming out... Italian Cook books, Yoga books and Computer books... Do not digress into other sections Preciousss!... No!! Public Libraries, dirty hobbits!! TV is a bitch.
Gollum, what do Lions do on rocks?
Gollum: Lions is brave, Preciousss, he conquers rugged rocks without fear. He's always hungry. He always needs to feed. He must eat. All He gets is filthy oxens. And they doesn't taste very nice, does they, precious? No, not very nice at all, my love...
Gollum, why do super men wear capes?
Gollum: Gollum! Gollum! Supermen is free as a bird, runs like the wind, like an eagle, He soars across rivers and moutain tops. We hates them. He's a horrid fat hobbit who hates Sméagol and who makes up nasty lies!