Monday, May 15, 2006

Give me more...

...because I am going to throw up afterwards anyway. No harm done - diet still on.

'We haven't changed - it's the West's attitude that has changed,' is the loud declaration about the sudden interest in Bollywood, a term we personally find derogatory, as if Indian cinema only existed in terms of its powerful Western cousin. 'We have our own identity,' we insist, 'which we're keen to hold on to.' Even if it chokes us. What a sacrifice! - Remember to add that ai-taim in the upcoming film...and remember to consume miles of celluloid to stretch that choking.

In fact, damn restraint altogether...have 10 different storylines (WOW!) to the one or two in a Hollywood movie - and make it demanding for an actor with action, come-edy, dance and song (never forget the singing and dancing)...every time we have tried to make something smart and too intelligent that has no link with our kal-chur of excess, it has failed. Better to have people vigorously dancing on taxis singing "Its Time to Disco". On with the inane, or insane. Take your pick.

Scripts are not considered that important... with a tradition of making it up as they go along - improvisations…it is being cooked - to a curry. Everything is curry anyway - chicken, mutton, phiss. Extraordinarily, impossibly rich Boy meets girl from slums, which are also not that bad [looking]. They fall in love, and the girl gets a world tour, first class (sadly, no free drinks) - perm between Delhi campus, British shopping centre, Australian beach, Rajah's palace, Swiss Alps, Egyptian pyramids and Scottish mansion. The more mountains the better. Boy’s family – oh, no - the father – objects to girl. Boy wants to dump girl, because is scared of Dadd-ee. But lo! Girl is suddenly all alone! Boy takes pity – how noble. What loving going on. Then is nap time. One wakes up to find The Big Wedding Number, which is a must. If one can fit in happy villagers celebrating the harvest so much the better.

So there we are, after much ogling at good looking boy, girl, even dadd-ee – an empty stomach. Like I said, diet still very much on.


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